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The sentence would probably be better as follows:

He grinned disconcertingly then waited. My interest was held by the form of his features which just were not like any I had seen.

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answered 5 hours ago

Sora Tamashii

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  Okay, thank you. Your simplified version made me realize that "Disconcerting as the grin he then waited my pleasure with" is all together and I could find 'wait upon his pleasure' by Shakespeare. This is John Barth, his style is nearly perfect. I could not exactly break down the sentence, I should have associated 'wait with' right away. Sorry.
  
  – As Vet
  5 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  


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  No. You're fine. Just wanting to help as best I can. :)
  
  – Sora Tamashii
  5 hours ago
  

  
  
  
  

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0

An alternate version of this sentence would be

The look of his features -- not just like any I had seen -- was as disconcerting to me as the grin he showed as he waited for my response.

The speaker makes clear that he is upset, mildly upset, by both the unusual facial features of his visitor and by the grin that the visitor showed. He equates these two sources of upset. The phrase "waited my pleasure with" is somewhat archaic, but in no way wrong. I would not imitate it in most writing, however.

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answered 32 mins ago

David SiegelDavid Siegel

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0

An alternate version of this sentence would be

The look of his features -- not just like any I had seen -- was as disconcerting to me as the grin he showed as he waited for my response.

The speaker makes clear that he is upset, mildly upset, by both the unusual facial features of his visitor and by the grin that the visitor showed. He equates these two sources of upset. The phrase "waited my pleasure with" is somewhat archaic, but in no way wrong. I would not imitate it in most writing, however.

share|improve this answer

answered 32 mins ago

David SiegelDavid Siegel

1013

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David Siegel is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

add a comment | 

0

An alternate version of this sentence would be

The look of his features -- not just like any I had seen -- was as disconcerting to me as the grin he showed as he waited for my response.

The speaker makes clear that he is upset, mildly upset, by both the unusual facial features of his visitor and by the grin that the visitor showed. He equates these two sources of upset. The phrase "waited my pleasure with" is somewhat archaic, but in no way wrong. I would not imitate it in most writing, however.

share|improve this answer

answered 32 mins ago

David SiegelDavid Siegel

1013

New contributor

David Siegel is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

add a comment | 

An alternate version of this sentence would be

The look of his features -- not just like any I had seen -- was as disconcerting to me as the grin he showed as he waited for my response.

The speaker makes clear that he is upset, mildly upset, by both the unusual facial features of his visitor and by the grin that the visitor showed. He equates these two sources of upset. The phrase "waited my pleasure with" is somewhat archaic, but in no way wrong. I would not imitate it in most writing, however.

share|improve this answer

answered 32 mins ago

David SiegelDavid Siegel

1013

New contributor

David Siegel is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

share|improve this answer

answered 32 mins ago

David SiegelDavid Siegel

1013

New contributor

David Siegel is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

answered 32 mins ago

David SiegelDavid Siegel

1013

New contributor

David Siegel is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.

answered 32 mins ago

David SiegelDavid Siegel

1013